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Meeting Hecate   3 comments

At the last full moon, I got the wild idea of taking the ladies from my group into the woods for a good “drawing down” esbat ritual.  However, says I, we aren’t going to do it like the Wiccans do it.  We are not going to invoke the Goddess into a High Priestess while everyone else stands around waiting to bask in the presence.  No indeedy.  It is a circle of women.  It is our birthright to call the Goddess into ourselves or at least into our presence, and so, I told them, we would do so.  They could ask her into themselves or into their space to “visit” for lack of a better term.  There was lots of preparation for this.  I had to work them up to the idea of actually raising energy which was going to involve some chanting, some drumming and yes, even moving our bodies around!  It was dark, in the middle of a nature center, with only the rising moon; how body conscious can one be in the dark?  Not very, I figure! It didn’t take much convincing, though. They all rose right to the occasion and did amazing things and the amount of energy flowing in that circle was impressive.   I asked in advance of any of them happen to know if they were a light trance medium (or deep trance for that matter) because if someone was going to start channeling I just wanted a heads up.  They didn’t think they were.  They weren’t sure.  I am, so I warned them not to be alarmed and what that could look or sound like.  Once I got to invoking, things were really cooking in there.  And no, I didn’t recite the Charge of the Goddess because I am a non-conformist and also because I can’t remember that dang thing…it’s too long.  With their collected will to meet their Goddess and have that experience, it happened almost spontaneously.  It was highly emotional.  Assorted deities showed up and I knew who they came for, so I made sure to announce what I knew.  One of the women started receiving and giving messages.  One of them was quietly crying.  One had to sit down.  One was deep into trance.  It was amazing.  Cerridwen came.  Arianrhod came.  Isis came.  Someone who called herself “Changing Woman” came.  And then, Hecate came.  She came for me, and she was laughing.  Very amused.  This, she mentioned, is because I have “a hard time” with her.

I have a hard time with her because I am pretty close to being what I would call ” a pantheon snob.”   Since so many neopagans and especially the Wiccans just love their Hecate, I (out of spite) resist looking to that deity for a deep connection.  I know who she is, I know what she’s about, I know her lessons, but we don’t have a relationship.  Plus, genetically, I tend to drift toward the Celts.  I avoid the Greeks.  Nothing personal, I just don’t like to be a conformist and in my area, I can’t throw a stick without hitting an eclectic who is all about the Greeks.  But, evidently it was tough luck for me because here comes Hecate, whether I like it or not.   She didn’t have much to say at the time.  I also was somewhat busy trying to manage the energy in a circle of Goddess-filled women (which was cool as hell, by the way).

I have mulled it over since the full moon and, if you look at a calendar, you can see that’s been a few weeks.  So finally I decided to just ask.  What gives?  I was half asleep.  I am going through hell in my life right now.  The life I built  is imploding,  there is emotional trauma involved, there is suffering and there is bone crushing exhaustion.  My heart is bleeding and I am very very tired.  I was half-knocked out with my notebook and I wrote at the top of the page, “Why have you come for me, Hecate? I hear your keys rattling.”

Well, darned if she didn’t answer me.  After a space on the page, I started to write but I wasn’t conscious too much of what I was writing.  I guess I don’t know if I can say it was automatic writing.  I don’t think I’m psychic enough for true automatic writing .   It just was what it was and I wrote what I “got”. 

And what Hecate told me was, “When I come and unlock you out of your cell, you will never be able to live in that darkness the same way again.  Here, take the key.  Walk out, or stay, it is up to you.  Here, take my torch.  My hounds will protect you from any pursuers.  You are the queen now and it is up to you.  This is your road.  Walk it, or hide from it, but either way, if you stay, you must die because light cannot live in oblivion.” 

I didn’t read it at the time.  I put it down and passed out.  I had a vague understanding of what I had written, sort of.   I was just tired and went to sleep.  I read it the next day though.  I read it and I understand it and it freaks me out because I know that it’s true.   I have some choices to make.

And then this all makes me wonder, why couldn’t the full moon have brought me someone else instead?  Why not…oh….some happy maidenly, running around the woods fun sort of goddess?   Or some love and peace, flower wreath wearing romance goddess?   Frick.


Posted August 10, 2011 by Jessica in Uncategorized

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